I’m part of a first time moms group on facebook, which is cool because it’s supposed to be a space where we can vent about family/baby/husband problems and ask questions free of judgement. Or so I thought. So I posted that I thought my baby was acting like a jerk today, because well she did. She’s been whiny the last couple of days, and today was just the fucking worst. She cried for Every. Damn. Reason. She was cranky and tired and wouldn’t go to sleep. She kept biting me with her sharp little shark teeth, and cried every time I tried to breastfeed her, change her, put her down, pick her up, hug her, feed her arrrggh!!! I love this kid to death, and I know she’s grumpy because she’s teething and learning to walk, and yes I know she’s a baby,but dammit she was a jerk! So I posted how I felt on the mom group page. A few people made me feel like I wasn’t alone and horrible by saying they felt the same way or called their baby worse things. But someone felt they needed to remind me that I’m not allowed to have an opinion because I’m a mom dammit. This was her response:
"Being a mom is all about making sacrifices and putting your babies needs before your own. Have you considered that your baby might be teething and you may not realize it. In the last four weeks my baby is 9.5 months old and has had five teeth pop out. She has a total of seven teeth. She also was coming down with a virus and we didn’t know it till she had a fever. They also only have one way of communicating which is crying and being fussy sometimes. That doesn’t mean the baby is being a jerk :(. Some people can’t have kids and would be so happy to be able to experience the trails of those rough days. It will get better though it always does. I think babies can sense our stress so the more calm and positive we are the better. :)".
First, it wasn’t like I was angry because she wasn’t letting me watch tv. I was trying to keep the kid happy and ALIVE, and she just wasn’t having it. I never said anything about her cramping my style or activities for the day.
Second, yes I know my baby is a baby who isn’t doing this on purpose and she’s grumpy for a reason. She’s allowed to be a jerk since she’s not feeling well, I’m the same way during shark week. But I’m still gonna complain about her behavior.
Third, I absolutely hate when people bring up shit like, oh so many people who can’t have kids would give anything to be in your situation. Wow I didn’t know there are people who want kids but can’t have them. Oh noes I can never, ever complain about my baby again! I’m a horrible terrible mother letting a sweet lil baby get under my skin, some one take my baby away because I’m so ungrateful!!
And lastly, the part about babies only being able to communicate by crying and fussing? Really? Is that why she won’t answer my text messages? You mean she can’t talk to me? Oh no wonder, I’m such an ass, all this time I thought she was just giving me the silent treatment.
I will say this, I was wrong in calling the baby a jerk. Because the real jerk is the woman who felt she had to teach me a lesson or two about being a mom. I’m happy to report I didn’t even respond to that woman’s shit. I’m not going to get in an internet argument with some dummy on Facebook. I’ll just post about it on tumblr. Thanks tumblr, for being a non-judgemental shoulder to bitch on!1 week ago • 5 notes
Being a mom is very strange. I still feel very much like some young, dumb, idiot; yet I am in charge of caring and raising a small child. For the rest of her life. It’s amazing and scary and fun and extraordinarily hard all at once. Having Emme made me realize that we really don’t understand how much our parents love us until we become one ourselves. I can’t believe how much I love that little babe. Every silly little thing that kid does, from standing on her own to sticking her feet in her mouth, are cause for celebration and endless bragging. It really makes me a little sad knowing that she won’t realize how much her nerdy weird mom loves her. And I feel sad that I never understood how much my own mom loves me.
Anyway, I was thinking about all of this today because of some birds in my front yard. For the past month, James and I have been following a pair of mourning doves that decided to build a nest in our maple tree. Their nest is right in front of our kitchen window, so every morning we’d monitor them, hoping the pesky squirrels would leave them alone. One day James got worried that the mama bird was going to starve because she hadn’t moved from the nest for days. I looked up MD breeding behavior, and it turns out that the MDs mate for life and the male and female take turns sitting on the eggs. They look alike so sometimes people get worried that the birds might starve. All I could think was “sqweee! I can’t believe it it’s just like my little family!” Side note: as much as I complain about James, he really does help out a lot with baby, especially at night.
About a week or two ago the egg hatched and we saw the baby bird. He was so cute and both parents were very attentive. I was excited to watch the little guy grow up, but you know, work and life and all. I went out this morning to look at the little guy and the nest was empty. I was a little sad, but I noticed that there was some fresh bird poop a few feet away from the nest, I looked up and saw him! He was all grown up, a little mini version of his parents. I tried looking for the parents but I didn’t see them so I jokingly told James, “they probably said later dude it’s time for you to make it on your own now.” But, I was wrong so wrong. I looked out the window to see if baby bird had taken off, but he was still in the yard only in another tree. And right next to him was his mama (I am assuming it was his mama, and honestly I want to believe it was the mama) preening him and feeding him. But after that she left, and the little guy kept jumping from branch to branch, testing out his little wings. I kept wondering, “is this it, did she finally leave so he could start his life.” But nope, his mama was hanging out on the telephone wire watching him as he got the courage to fly. When I got home later, after picking up Emme from her grandma’s house, I looked for the birds but they were both gone. I was so moved by what I saw that I had to write it down so I could remember it. And it made me think about my little girl and how someday I’m going to have to let her go and grow up and experience the big scary world. And as much as I’ll want to hold her close I’m going to have to remember that mama bird. I’ll let her go, but I’ll always be nearby, a little scared, but proud and happy to see her stretch her little wings looking for the courage to fly away.2 weeks ago • 0 notes